Helping Hands

I have never understood the hard parts. I admit it. I realize that pain, suffering, and some sadness are unavoidable but maybe just one of the three or maybe just for a moment.  Why can’t life just be sunshine and roses? Especially if we are trying, doing our best and all that? Yet, life and living are hard and it seems some stories are sadder than others. If you know me, you know that I love romances and feel-good movies. I steer clear of sadness, drama, trauma and the like. I abhor crying and avoid it all costs. I really try to never sport a frown. I would even say that one of my gifts might be joy. You know what the really crazy thing is? Sometimes my life doesn't feel good. Sometimes it is sad and hard and ugly, more than once, and for longer than I am comfortable with. This has been my reality for the last few months. It has been a season of sickness and change and it hasn't been easy. I have felt weak and frustrated and even sad. I have cried many tears and struggled to understand. I have prayed prayers for swift healings and wise words only to get more sickness and frustrations. But, there is always a but, I have also had peace and joy and been privy to new and wonderful ways of my God.

 I read a devotional that compared some times in life like sitting on the front porch with the lights off. What should be a cozy and comfortable spot becomes different and uncomfortable. Common things look scary and shadows seem to rule. There is fear in that place. There is loneliness in the unknowns that lurk in the darkness. And then, someone turns on the light. Someone flips the switch and the shadows are gone and things don't look so scary in the light. It just took Someone. There is a story in the old testament about a battle that the Israelites were fighting. It was a frightening and unsettling experience for those slaves turned soldiers and what was the game changer for them was Moses. He was their leader and he walked closely with their Lord. He came and, he stood where they could all see him and he raised his arms. It was a victorious stance a powerful posture, until he got tired. The battle was not a short one and poor old Moses started to tucker out. His arms felt heavy and I wondered if his heart felt some doubt and dismay. The problem was that when his hands began to fall, the soldiers lost hope and began to lose. That is how I have felt at times. Even as I write this, there are tears in my eyes, because the hard seasons sometimes last too long. I have found myself, even recently, worn out. I may have started out feeling strong and courageous but time took its toll and I felt like I was losing ground. For Moses, and for me, God showed up with some friends. They came alongside Moses and they helped hold up his arms. They gave him strength to keep hoping, keep going. They helped the soldiers fighting to renew their strength and not give up and, eventually, the battle was won. For me, it has not been the physical support of my aching muscles, it has been the prayers and love of my family and friends that have kept me hopeful. They have given me strength when I felt too tired to fight. They have turned the light on for me when things looked dark and scary. They chased the shadows away by being lights in my life when I felt like the darkness was winning.

Now let me be transparent here. I don't like to ask for help.  I would put it right down there beside crying. I like to be able, able to do and be whatever I need to be and do and I like to do it on my own. I'm not great at all at asking for help. I kind of figure Moses was of the same mentality. Assertive, strong, independent, those are how of think of Moses and myself. We are the givers, not the takers. We are the doers, not the askers. Except when we can't. Except when we are too tired and weak to be able to be, to do, and to give. I love that God already knows this,  He knows that some stories need support characters and so he has them already written in. For Moses and for me. It is the love, the prayers, the hugs, the faces and hearts of the people I live this life with. They have held up my arms and seen me through the tough, long battles. They have helped me keep my peace land find my joy in the hardness and the through the darkness. I feel like God has shown me some great truths in all of this. He has shown me that some stories have the sad chapters. We might want to quite reading, give up.  Some of them seem like we might not like the ending, like it might not be what we had hoped for. The battleground looks bleak and the warriors weary, but He is still the Author and He really does only write happy endings. Living with Him means we end with Him forever. He knows every moment before it happens and He is always ready with whatever we need to get through. The good, the bad, and the ugly, we can't avoid them but we can have victory over them. It might take a little extra help, support when we grow tired and afraid. The battle may last longer than I would like, but when the dust finally settles and the sun finally rises, the light will overcome the darkness, and on that day, I will raise my hands in victory and worship. On that day (and today) I will be eternally and overwhelmingly grateful for the folks who held me up in my weakness. God uses the love and the lives all around us to support us when we are weak.