In the Eye of the Storm

 I’ve had a heavy heart for a couple weeks now. My struggle has not been for myself but as I’ve watched others facing the wind and waves of some of life’s  fiercest storms, I’ve felt desperation for them. My eyes shed tears for the pain and fear and struggles that life sometimes brings our way. It has felt heavy and heartbreaking and a little hopeless. I’ve asked, in my heart if not out loud, the whys that we all wonder when it just seems too much and not fair. All of us have been through storms, none of escape without some battle scars. It’s hard to live through them and it’s hard to watch others suffer and not have the answers or the help to offer them. 

I’ve also been studying in Job in my quiet time. It’s been tragically ironic in some ways to weep for friends who are facing life’s worst and read about Job, his heartache and his response to it. Job went through the deepest valleys. He lost everything that he valued from children, to health, to wealth, to honor. His friends rejected him and the enemy was relentless in trying to break Job’s spirit. Tonight, though, tonight I read something that gave me some hope. It’s a tiny little verse tucked in Job 40:6. It says that, “God addresses Job in the eye of the storm...” Don’t miss it! “In the eye of the storm”. It’s easy to see only the dark and scary and to feel overwhelmed and even a little hopeless when you’re in the middle of life’s storms. Those moments when your goal is just to not cry for a bit, those times when you can’t look up because your heart is just too heavy. Those are hard times. Dark times feel like God isn’t with us or at least we see no evidence of him. But, thank God for the “but”, Job heard the Lord right there in the eye of the storm, right there in the eerie moment of still and silence, maybe the scariest time of any storm, when he was in the middle of the worst. God spoke and Job survived. If you know the story, you know that before God spoke Job was only seeing and hearing and aware of the loss and suffering but, after God spoke, the storm remained only it didn’t break, instead, it strengthened him. He was restored and redeemed and blessed above and beyond.

We want the answers that we aren’t ready to see and understand. God’s ways are above beyond what we can comprehend, maybe just in this moment or maybe on this side of eternity. That truth doesn’t change the storm but maybe it gives us enough strength, enough hope, to look up to our Heavenly Father, to listen for his voice, even in the midst of the worst. A friend of mine the other day said that God is still writing our stories. I like that. We don’t know our endings, just like Job and his friends didn’t know his. We have to keep living, keep trusting, keep seeking the One who turns all the storms into something good. 

Faith Over Fear

 When the pastor asked the question, my answer came so easily. I was sitting in church today and the pastor asked a question about what would you do if you had no fear of failing. No concerns about the possible outcomes, no comparing myself with others, no fear...immediately I said into my mask, where only me and Jesus could hear, “I’d write more”. 

The sermon was based out of the parable of the talents. Jesus told it and it was meant to help his listeners to understand how we are to live while we are waiting on eternity. Talents are not meant to be hidden or stored but shared and multiplied and lived out. Now, to be clear, I’m not saying that writing is even my talent but I enjoy it and I definitely feel close to my Savior when words are involved. The pastor was explaining how fear is the opposite of faith. Fear is something I do understand some and feel a little too gifted with. Fear of rejection, condemnation, judgement. Fear of being known, of not being known. Fear of failure, fear of feeling overwhelmed. The list could go on and on. But Jesus, he wasn’t about any of those fears. He told us only the only fear is the fear of the Lord and that by having faith we overcome that one. I was reminded that what I should be fearing most is coming to the gates of heaven and realizing that I could’ve done more, that I should’ve done more. I don’t want to worry about all the what if’s in this life. I don’t want to care about how I measure up to anyone else or what anyone thinks of me. I don’t want to plan and prep but never make it to go and do stage.  I want to know that I have done well. I want to hear that I was faithful with what I have been given and that it was, and is, good. Isn’t that the point after all? Fear is not defeated by nothingness but by being obedient in the very something that we are most afraid of. 

Lately I have been reminded that there are so many things that we can’t control. Life is full of situations that we wouldn’t chose but that we have to walk through anyway. There are so many hard and unexplainable and difficult circumstances that I have no answers for. When I’m faced with these realities, so often the only comfort I have to offer is my words. Sometimes it’s in journaled prayers or tearful pleas. Sometimes it’s a note of scripture or a word of encouragement. They seem like so little in the face of life. Literally, just letters on a page. Today I was reminded that whatever I have to offer is what I should give. That’s what is good and that is how I can be faithful and obedient. Today I was reminded to write without fear.

This is my act of worship. This is my step of faith. They might be just words and yet so much more because they are meant to bring glory and point all who might read them to an eternal Father who longs to spend eternity with each of us. As it says in Psalm 56:3-4-“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. I will praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?” I’m choosing faithfulness over fear with my words and my actions!