Trading my sorrows

There is this super cheesy worship song from back in the day. It is called "Trading my Sorrows" and the verses encourage us to trade our sorrows for the joy of The Lord. It even uses one of my favorite Bible verses when it says, "though sorrow may last for the night, His joy comes in the morning". Well, I feel a bit sorrowful tonight. I have the red-rimmed puffy eyes of a mom not ready to send her baby out into the crazy unknown world of kindergarten. I have been playing the "lets not talk about it" game for weeks now, unable to fathom how to prepare for, much less, carry out the task of dropping my G-man off at kindergarten. I have cried every time I have thought about it for the last two days and considered, more than once, just boycotting the whole thing. Then I heard that song.

I had just put the big boys to bed and hit play on their kids worship cd and there it was, the solution. God will often hit me with His perspective through my kids and this was no different. When I heard those words about trading my sorrow for the joy of the Lord, they hit a soft spot in my heart and settled my soul just a bit. Enough so that I could muster the strength to grab the old night before kindergarten books off the shelf and set down with Garrett for his bedtime story without weeping or sobbing. I found that I was grateful that had I read these books before. I could fake excitement for my Garrett because I already knew the next line, and suddenly my sorrow was his joy. Garrett was rolling with it, so on we went. We finished one and started on the second and about halfway through God did it again. He took my sorrow and gave me joy. My little G jumped up in the middle of the page and said, "I gotta go to bed now Mom. I like this song." No kisses. No tears. Heck, he didn't even brush his teeth. He just ran back, wrapped himself in his blankie, and went to bed. I asked him for prayers and kisses and he replied with, "maybe in morning", but he wanted to hear number 13 and I needed to go to the living room. He effectively kicked me out, and on kindergarten eve! What sorrow turned joy! When I checked on him a few minutes later he was peacefully sleeping right in front of the CD player, still wrapped in his favorite red blanket and wearing his favorite Pirate hat, not a hint of sorrow on his beautiful little face. I can't say I won't cry in the morning when I walk out of that school and leave my baby behind, but I can promise that I will trade in my sorrows for joy. Joy over favorite songs, and snugly red blankets. Joy over Pirate hats and easy bedtimes. Sorrow may last for the night, but His joy comes in the morning. Good night G. I will see you in the morning. :)