I need to make a confession. Or maybe a resolution. Maybe a confession that results in a resolution. Yep, that's it! I confess that I have had this blog on my heart for the last several months, I have had it on paper for over a month, and I have no excuse for why I haven't shared. I just haven't taken the time and the energy and I have felt less than confident about how much of myself to put out there lately. Not good reasons and yet the real ones. That being said, in my prayer time, I have resolved to share more regularly. I have decided that I want to be known as an obedient child of my living and active God and that requires actions and words and sharing real life. It's all out there now, so feel free to hold me accountable whenever you deem necessary. Now, onto the Red Trumpet.....
This year we have a trumpet player. Neither Ryan nor I were involved in the band, so this whole concept is new to us but we are always in support of trying something new. As school started, Parker began requesting we purchase his new trumpet. We questioned why a trumpet and not some other instrument. In true 11-year old reasoning, Parker made his decision on the instrument that his petite stature could easiest manage. As we shopped, we noticed not only several varying brands of trumpets but also several color options. Parker was psyched about this and kept pushing for a red trumpet. We said no. But, why not? Our answer was simple-you don't want to be known as the kid with the red trumpet. There are many things that you can be recognized for in life, don't let it be the color of your horn. This conversation about the appropriate trumpet color for our middle schooler morphed into a dozen more thoughts and conversations. What do we want to be known for? What should we represent? Where do we seek our value, our worth?
As I challenged my boys with this concept and these questions, I was equally convicted. I encouraged them to be known as lights in darkness. I want them to be bucket fillers and builder-uppers of the world around them. We have a saying of "choose joy" at our house. No matter the situation, you can always choose to see the good. I want my boys to love Jesus and love others and to be known as boys growing into godly men. I want them to be respectful and responsible in a world that doesn't always deserve it. I reminded them that we have other options. We can be sarcastic, unkind, rude, lazy. We can be takers or givers in this world. I want them to be givers. 1 John 3:18-19 confirms these truths when it says, "Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God." I desperately want my boys to feel confident in God's deep love for them. In return, I want them to be confident and sure in living that love out loud. Red trumpets are fine and fancy and great but I want us to be known as reflections and children of the King of Kings.
All of this was also very challenging to my own heart. I have found myself dissecting what exactly I, myself, am known for. Lots of kids will say they know me from church. I lead the kids' worship. I also sign my name with a "RN" afterward when I am working and so some folks know me as a nurse. There are still a few blessed folks who still call me a "Parker girl" and know me from my family. I am a wife, a mother, a friend to some. And yet, I know some would not say these things. I am convicted to say that some would say that I am not always kind and friendly. I know that my heart has been led too often by things like jealousy, selfishness, an, even occasionally, by anger. God forgive me. This is not how I want to be known. As the discussion continued, my prayer journal and my Bible quickly became filled with red trumpet scribbles in the margins. God used a simple request by a 11-year old for a fun trumpet to show me ugliness that I have displayed for my world to see. I saw that I am not always reflecting my Jesus. I am not always choosing joy and promoting peace. "What am I know for?" became a daily reflection question and, quite honestly, sometimes I was ashamed of the answer. This "red trumpet" has become a new motto in my heart. I want to be known as a child of God and as on obedient disciple of his Word. It is a tall order and one that I fall short of all too frequently but I am a work in progress. My boys and I together are challenging each other to be known for goodness and righteousness and faithfulness. We want to reflect the God we serve who saved our very souls.
In closing, here is a prayer from my journal. The honest cries from a heart that loves and desires and struggles to live out the love I've been graciously given...Lord, let me be known as a source of love and, even, gentleness. (That second one is real hard for me!) Help me to be a safe and comfortable place for my tribe and my friends to visit and get encouragement. Let me seek you and then generously share you with the world around me. I love you and I want to be your light, your fruit, here in my world. In Jesus' name, amen.
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