When the pastor asked the question, my answer came so easily. I was sitting in church today and the pastor asked a question about what would you do if you had no fear of failing. No concerns about the possible outcomes, no comparing myself with others, no fear...immediately I said into my mask, where only me and Jesus could hear, “I’d write more”.
The sermon was based out of the parable of the talents. Jesus told it and it was meant to help his listeners to understand how we are to live while we are waiting on eternity. Talents are not meant to be hidden or stored but shared and multiplied and lived out. Now, to be clear, I’m not saying that writing is even my talent but I enjoy it and I definitely feel close to my Savior when words are involved. The pastor was explaining how fear is the opposite of faith. Fear is something I do understand some and feel a little too gifted with. Fear of rejection, condemnation, judgement. Fear of being known, of not being known. Fear of failure, fear of feeling overwhelmed. The list could go on and on. But Jesus, he wasn’t about any of those fears. He told us only the only fear is the fear of the Lord and that by having faith we overcome that one. I was reminded that what I should be fearing most is coming to the gates of heaven and realizing that I could’ve done more, that I should’ve done more. I don’t want to worry about all the what if’s in this life. I don’t want to care about how I measure up to anyone else or what anyone thinks of me. I don’t want to plan and prep but never make it to go and do stage. I want to know that I have done well. I want to hear that I was faithful with what I have been given and that it was, and is, good. Isn’t that the point after all? Fear is not defeated by nothingness but by being obedient in the very something that we are most afraid of.
Lately I have been reminded that there are so many things that we can’t control. Life is full of situations that we wouldn’t chose but that we have to walk through anyway. There are so many hard and unexplainable and difficult circumstances that I have no answers for. When I’m faced with these realities, so often the only comfort I have to offer is my words. Sometimes it’s in journaled prayers or tearful pleas. Sometimes it’s a note of scripture or a word of encouragement. They seem like so little in the face of life. Literally, just letters on a page. Today I was reminded that whatever I have to offer is what I should give. That’s what is good and that is how I can be faithful and obedient. Today I was reminded to write without fear.
This is my act of worship. This is my step of faith. They might be just words and yet so much more because they are meant to bring glory and point all who might read them to an eternal Father who longs to spend eternity with each of us. As it says in Psalm 56:3-4-“But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. I will praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?” I’m choosing faithfulness over fear with my words and my actions!
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