Brokenness aside

Have you ever had a perfect day? I dream about this and hope for one. It will start with a warm bath and an especially productive quiet devotional time. I will make a delicious breakfast that all of my kids will love. They will all be hot lunch so there will be no rushing to get lunches packed. Garrett will get dressed, including undergarments. That alone would be enough for me, but it will continue on in this fashion. The Moffas won't be late. I won't even talk on the phone while I drive and I certainly won't go over the speed limit. I will think only positive things and pray for everyone who tempts me to do otherwise. It will be perfect.

The thing is, I have never had a day like this. I usually get out of my bath reminding at least one small person in my life that joy comes in the morning so if you aren't joyful then go back to bed and start over. We are always late and I finish dressing Garrett when I pull into wherever we are going, after I say good-bye to whoever I was talking to while I drove just slightly over the speed limit. I try hard and I pray daily that I will follow God's leading in every aspect of my life but I fail to be perfect constantly. I am broken.

I was listening to my radio in the car the other day and a song came on that reminded me of my brokenness and yours, all of ours. The chorus of the song goes like this,

I am a sinner 

If its not one thing its another 

Caught up in words 

Tangled in lies 

You are the Savior 

And you take brokenness aside

And make it beautiful.

Read it twice, drink up that reality. There is no perfect. If it isn't running late and being impatient, it will certainly be another. 

We are ending the school year with a bunch of evals for our Garrett and what that means to me as his mom is that I will get to sit in a room with a bunch of people who think they know my son. They will tell me all he doesn't do, all that he isn't.  I will nod when it is appropriate and try to not be defensive. I may smile and crack a joke or two. I will do my best to remind them of all he can do and has achieved but I will likely feel defeated at the end. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to the experience but songs like this remind me that the broken is beautiful in Christ. I can take my faults and failures, my son's test scores, my tendency to speed,  to the cross and He will make it beautiful. He takes all of me, all of each of us and makes it beautiful. I don't understand that kind of love, that kind of righteousness but I couldn't live without it. 

When I think of Christ's love and how it has transformed me in the past and his rich promises for the future I can keep going. There will still be frustrations, cold lunches, annoying people and forgotten joy but He will always be greater and more. He is my Savior and He is in the business of saving, brokenness aside. I may never have my perfect day but I will hope for it and work toward it. I will fail often and still be late most of the time but know that all my ugly, all my broken is beautiful and so is yours.