A new friend named Zoey

Every morning starts the same. I wake up to find my youngest, Garrett,  standing inches from my face or snuggled at my side, requesting his chocolate milk. I tease him about bringing him strawberry milk instead and remind him to go potty first. We talk about how we are BFFs while I stretch and, usually, he places a second request for his milk before I roll my tired self out of bed and meander toward the kitchen. It's always chocolate milk, always in his fish cup, always in my bed with me laying beside him. That is how we roll. Garrett likes for things to stay the same. Honestly, I think we all do really. He feels safe when life is predictable. A new cup, a different drink, a distracted mommy, these just don't work for G and so our days start the same, unfortunately,  not everything can always stay the same.

As the first day of school too quickly approaches, I have begun prepping my boys for some major changes. One of the biggest is that Garrett will be going to a new school this year. It is not one that he is terribly unfamiliar with because both of his brothers have gone there but it is new to him. Anytime we can prepare him and help him adapt more easily,  we try to do just that and so we have been talking more and more about some of the things that will be different. Garrett admits to feeling nervous and a little scared which both breaks and warms my heart. I love to hear him express himself so clearly but I hate that it is not always confidence that he feels. I want him to not fear change but to be able to adapt. Admittedly though,  even I am a tad frightened when I think about new beginnings in our little world.

Another change our family is facing is that Parker is moving up to middle school. Those two words should cause all parents to shudder and I am no different. Already I feel disconnected and like I am sending him out into the  great unknown. I am not sure how to best prepare him but we are doing the basics. We talk about it and we bought the trapper keeper, pencils, and high lighters. I, of course, don't show any of my fear to him but, when I start to think on it too much, I have no choice but to pray before the panic sets in. Change may be necessary in living life, but it is also scary.

Change is a natural and unavoidable part of life. Just in the last few months, we have seen several in our family. We have changed shapes. We have changed sizes. We have changed seasons and sports. We have changed treatment plans. Goals and dreams have changed. We have even switched the boys' bedrooms up a bit (another change strongly protested by G). Change is inevitable. We can't stop it and sometimes we can't prepare for it. Sometimes it brings good and healing and rightness to our lives and sometimes it brings pain and struggle and hardship. What anchors me in the midst of all this change is a truth expressed in a song we sang this week at church. It says 'the wind and waves still know His name".  As I listened to those words throughout the week prior while Ryan was preparing for worship, I was choked every time I heard them. They speak of power and security even with the uncertain and uncontrollable.The waves, the tide of earth, the ebb and flow of the sea, as ever changing as they are, still know the Master's voice. The wind that bends and even breaks the trees of every forest across the land, the wind that falls the leaves and cools us with an evening breeze is obedient to His command. The changes will come but I can be sure of Him always.

Another change that our family has experienced this season is that Garrett has started some horse therapy. It has been a beautiful change for us. He seems so strong and big and at peace when he is on a horse. This week the wonderful volunteers had saddled a new horse named Zoey for G. G did not like this change. He adamantly argued that he wanted Titus, that Zoey was too many "centimeters". After some compromising from both sides and a quick side to side comparison, G discovered that Zoey was also a good horse, not one to be afraid of, and they successfully completed a scavenger hunt together. Zoey was not just a new friend for us, though, Zoey was a game changer. The experience gave us much to talk about. We talked about how sometimes new things are scary but they can still be okay. We talked about how he felt and how Zoey might have felt meeting a new boy for the first time. We talked about how change is hard but necessary. I told him how proud I was of him for being brave and trying a new thing. We are still talking about it days later. Life is never going to stay the same for any of us. There will always be new days, new experiences, new friends, and new fears but I trust in the Anchor that holds steady and true, the same voice that the wind and waves obey wants to talk with me daily.  In the face of each day and whatever joys and struggles it brings, I agree with G, who in his best country accent tells his horse friends, "walk on Zoey ( or Titus), walk on".